


Reign's defeat

by philippine



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Character Death, F/F, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-01 12:23:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13998273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philippine/pseuds/philippine
Summary: What would happen if everybody failed Sam. If nobody succeeded to help her?How Lena would deal with another loss?How Kara would deal with the guilt?Would it be the last nail in their friendship coffin?





	Reign's defeat

**Author's Note:**

> thank you Rebellion_Bear for the corrections

 

 

 

Reign’s defeat, Lena’s loss.

 

 

Lena sat behind her desk, it’s late at night, way past office hours. But she couldn’t move, she just watched the fight between Reign and Supergirl, their final fight. Supergirl finally, finally defeated Reign, and Lena should be happy for her friend’s victory, of course, she knew Kara was Supergirl, how could she not, (and Kara came out to her recently too)? But it meant that she just watched her other friend’s defeat. The last weeks had been hard, knowing that Sam and Reign were one and the same, well not exactly one and the same because Sam didn’t know about Reign, but she knew that every blow against Reign was taken by Sam as well. She tried to help, she really tried, she tried to come up with a solution, a way to separate them, but she found none, what was the point of being a certified genius if you couldn’t help your friend when they needed you?

 

So, Lena sat here, alone, drinking expensive whiskey, she didn’t have the strength to go outside and celebrate Reign’s defeat with National City’s inhabitants. When it meant she just lost her friend, “another one,” Lena said dryly to no one in particular. And God knew Lena was used to losing people, first her mother, then Lex, Jack, every single person she had grown close to, every time it ended the same way. How could she stay hopeful in the future when she had lived through so many dramas? Lena laughed humorlessly, maybe it was the alcohol talking now but seriously, what was the point of hope when you’re Lena Luthor?

 

She saw Supergirl’s face on her muted office TV, the Girl of Steel seemed to share her thoughts about the fight, for her too it was a bittersweet victory, she knew about Sam. First, Lena had tried to help her CFO on her own, like she always did, but when it became obvious that she wouldn’t succeed she sought help, it was a first for the CEO, asking for help, but she needed to do it, for her friend. She asked Supergirl, sharing with her, her knowledge about Sam and Reign. At first, the heroine seemed angry, because Lena didn’t come to her sooner, but then she seemed sad, so sad, and Lena remembered what was so easy to forget. The heroine knew the loss better than anyone, and she had grown closer to Sam during the months they had known each other, Sam had become a new addition to their small group of friends.

 

Together with the help of the DEO and Alex they had tried and failed to find a cure. And Sam disappeared more and more every day in front of their eyes, there was nothing they could do, and their frustration grew, and grew, so much that at some point they fought, and Lena lost everything she had.

 

So, no, today didn’t call for a celebration because it only reminded Lena that one year ago she had been abducted by Rhea and barely made it out, only thanks to Supergirl, that one year ago she almost caused the end of the Earth, that one year ago she sent an entire race of aliens, including Kara’s boyfriend, out of the atmosphere, but she survived thanks to Supergirl, Kara, Alex, Winn, and James. But now what was left? They fought over Sam’s cure, she and Kara ended their friendship, she broke up with James, and Alex and Winn stopped talking to her. Because without Kara she had nothing, without Kara in her corner she was just another Luthor. And that wasn’t even the worst because Lena was used to being alone, she had been alone almost all her life. No, the worst was that she finally understood her feelings toward the blonde when Kara disappeared from her life. She didn’t miss her friendships, she didn’t miss Alex or Winn, God she didn’t miss James. She missed Kara, she missed her smile, her voice, her touch, she missed everything, it was like her world ended the day Kara stopped talking to her. And it was ridiculous, really, how everything began with one word, well two in fact.

 

“Shut up!” Lena screamed at Kara, they were in one of the numerous L-Corp labs one night, late, and Kara tried to explain something to Lena, some Kryptonian science that Lena couldn’t grasp, she was unable to understand what Kara was trying to explain, she couldn’t wrap her mind around the concept and she snapped, she knew she was tired and frustrated, she knew that Kara was in the same state, but she snapped and she screamed. She lifted her head and saw the hurt on her soon to be ex-friend’s face, she saw the tears in her blues eyes and she regretted her outburst instantly, but it was too late, Kara just flew away and never looked back.

 

It was ridiculous she knew it, she should have apologized, she shouldn’t have snapped in the first place, she should have run after Kara, but she was so tired and so frustrated and after, it was just too late. She hadn’t talked or seen Kara or Supergirl since then. And she missed her so much. But maybe she deserved it, maybe she was meant to be alone in her ivory tower, far away from others, far away from the happiness, surely, she didn’t deserve to be happy. But she wanted to be there for Kara, she wanted to take her in her arms, she wanted to share her burden, because they actually shared it, maybe it was Supergirl who physically defeated Reign, but it was Lena’s failure, and the dark-haired woman couldn’t shake the guilt off. She was the one who failed her friend. And like last year she was the one responsible and she was the one who forced Supergirl to act and once again lose someone because of Lena.

 

That was the reason why Lena sat there instead of running after Kara because she was sure that without Lena in her life, Kara would and could be happy. Without Lena’s dramas, without Lena’s family, Kara should be happy. But instead Lena had been selfish and had stayed as close as she could to the heroine. But now she could see the pattern, now she was aware of her responsibilities, of her guilt. And she couldn’t do this to the blonde one more time. She had to stay away, as far away as she could.

 

But God it was hard, hard to see the defeat  on Supergirl’s face, hard to know it was because of her, hard not to run toward her and take her in her arms. Because she loved Supergirl, she was in love with Kara, and she wanted to take her burden, she wanted to be there for her. At least Lena knew that Kara wasn’t alone, she had Alex and her friends, it was a small consolation, she wasn’t alone.

  
  
  
  
  


Supergirl’s victory, Kara’s defeat.

 

 

Kara woke up in a jolt from her nightmare, she was sweating and had some difficulty breathing. She was alone in her apartment, it was still dark outside. She closed her eyes but opened them back quickly, she couldn’t stop seeing Sam’s face underneath Reign’s mask, imploring her for help.

 

“Please” was the last word that came out of Sam’s bleeding mouth just before her life left her body. Reign was on what was left of the road, a mountain of rubble, it was the end of the fight, Supergirl had finally defeated Reign, but at what cost?

 

Kara stood up and went to her kitchen, drank some water, she couldn’t shake the guilt off. She had killed Sam, no matter how many time her sister repeated that it was for the greater good, she had killed Sam, she had taken Ruby’s mother’s life and she couldn’t forgive herself. She had failed to save Sam, and it was the only thing that mattered in Kara’s mind. She had failed, again. She failed every time, she had failed Mon-el, even if he was back and seemed happy with Imra, she had failed him when she sent him away, she had failed National City so many times she couldn’t count, she had failed Leslie, who was dead because of her, she had failed to save her and she had failed Lena.

 

"Oh Lena," she thought. What a mess, they had fought, and everybody had turned their back on the woman because of Kara’s inability to explain herself properly. She had tried to explain some basic Kryptonian science to the CEO, and she went into full rambling mode because of her tiredness without acknowledging it. God knew how many times Lena had probably tried to stop her before snapping at her. But when the words left Lena’s mouth “shut up,” Kara was so hurt that she didn’t think and she left without a word before her tears streamed down, she was so ashamed by her reaction that she never found the courage to apologize or explain what happened to her friends, and after that everything went south. First Alex refused to talk to Lena because she had upset Kara despite Kara’s reassurance, then James fought with the dark-haired woman and they broke up and Winn chose James’ side of course, and finally Sam, Kara took Sam’s life yesterday. Now Lena was alone again Just because of Kara, and Kara couldn’t forgive herself.

 

She wanted to talk so badly with Lena, she wanted to find her and apologize. But what could she possibly say? No words were enough, she hadn’t been able to face Ruby yet and she knew she wasn’t able to face Lena either.

 

Kara was so ashamed that she wanted to hide. Find a hole and never see the sunlight again.

 

She knew she wouldn’t find the sleep again, not tonight anyway, every time she closed her eyes she saw Sam’s death. She wasn’t sure she would find the sleep ever again. So she took her suit and went patrolling, maybe Supergirl could be useful and compensate for Kara’s uselessness.

 

Supergirl patrolled for hours around the city but nothing happened, nothing at all, and she became bored and felt as useless as Supergirl as she had as Kara. She drifted in the air without purpose until she found herself in front of L-Corp’s building. The lights of Lena’s office were still on, and Kara wondered if Lena was still there or if she forgot to switch them off.

 

She thought about Lena again. How she missed the dark-haired woman, she missed her so much that she could physically feel it. It took her time to put a name on what she felt for her friend but one day, not long after they stopped talking, it hit her like a brick wall, like a Kryptonite brick wall. She was at work at Catco when she saw Lena on the TV screens, she seemed haggard in front of the journalist, it was a press conference and Kara hadn’t heard about it. At first the blonde felt hurt, then she understood that Lena didn’t owe her anything and finally she was worried for the dark-haired woman’s safety and had flown there to make sure nothing bad happened, she stayed out of sight, not wanting to disturb the CEO. That day, Kara understood the depth of her feelings for Lena, it was more than friendship, it was more than her super duty, it was love. But how could she talk about it to Lena when she knew she had ruined everything? So, Kara had decided to keep her feelings buried, she didn’t talk about it to anyone.

 

But tonight, her secret seemed to weigh far more, it seemed like it crushed her chest, and she couldn’t breathe anymore, it seemed like lead in her boots, and she couldn’t fly anymore, it felt like kryptonite in her veins, and she couldn’t live anymore, she had barely survived until then anyway. She needed to talk to Lena, maybe not tell her how she felt for her, but at least apologize, at least let her know that she didn’t have to be alone, that maybe if she could forgive Kara, and with time, they could be friends again.

  

And with this little glimmer of hope, Kara flew toward the CEO’s balcony. She landed carefully and walked toward the door. Lena was inside, sitting behind her desk with a half-empty bottle of brown liquor. Kara knocked tentatively on the glass and waited. Slowly Lena turned her head and looked at her, her expression unreadable, then she turned back and stared straight ahead. Kara thought that she had waited too long, that everything for them was lost, she decided to stay there a minute and if Lena didn’t open the door she would fly away and never come back.

 

One minute, sixty seconds, when you wait it’s long, when you have superspeed and you wait it’s super long.

  
  
  


Nobody wins, everybody loses.

 

 

Lena had zoned out, God only knew how long, she was pulled out of her head by a knock on her balcony door. How was it possible? Only one person came by the balcony. She was sure her mind was playing a trick, but she couldn’t control herself and felt her hope rise. She turned her head toward the balcony and saw her, Supergirl waiting on the other side of the glass. What was she doing here? What did she want? Was she really here? Lena turned back and caught sight of her bottle of Whiskey, half empty, was she hallucinating? She didn’t move, and looked straight ahead, if Supergirl was really here, surely she would knock again, right? So, Lena waited, but time seemed to slow down and finally stop. She couldn’t contain her hope.

 

Kara counted the seconds in her head, 56… 57… 58… she was about to fly away and began to turn her back to the office when she caught a movement from the corner of her eyes. 59… She looked one last time at Lena and saw her stand up. Her heart clenched, she didn’t know if the woman was coming to ask her to leave or if she would have a chance to talk. One minute, the door slid open letting the cold air enter the office, Lena shivered, and Kara had to restrain herself from taking the other woman in her arms.

 

One minute ten seconds, the silence between them stretched.

 

One minute thirty seconds, Kara cleared her throat, she'd lost herself in the green of Lena’s eyes and she knew she needed to talk now.

 

“I… I’m sorry,” she stuttered. And Lena seemed genuinely confused, but Kara didn’t give her the time to voice her confusion and continued. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted, I shouldn’t have shut you out,” her voice was more confident this time. Lena opened her mouth and closed it before shaking her head and she laughed, genuinely laughed.

 

“You? You’re sorry? I should be the one to apologize,” Lena said when her laugh died down. “I’m the one who snapped at you, I’m the one who didn’t reach out to you,” Lena continued. “I’m sorry,” she said more shyly.  “But you should stay away from me,” Lena’s face was closed when she added it.

 

Kara’s heart was trapped on a rollercoaster of emotion, first Lena laughed at her, then apologized and finally rejected her. It was too many emotions in one setting, Kara was at a loss.

 

“What? Why? I don’t want to stay away from you, I can’t, I physically can’t,” Kara stated and stood in Supergirl’s signature pose.

 

“Everything I touch ends in a disaster, aren’t you tired of coming after me and cleaning up my mess? Because I am, I’m tired of losing everybody that I let in, I’m tired of being the cause every time National City almost ends. I’m tired of watching you come rescue me,” Lena said, crossing her arms on her chest. “I am tired,” she sighed defeated, before moving into her office toward her couch.

 

“Lena, NO. Can’t you see all the good you’ve done? Can't you see all the good you do? Can’t you see that you were the one who saved National City last year? Can’t you see that you have done everything you could for Sam? I’m the one who failed, I’m the one who isn’t enough.” Kara followed Lena inside. They sat on the couch and stayed silent for a moment. “I miss you,” Kara whispered.

 

“I miss you too,” Lena replied letting her head fall on Supergirl’s shoulder.

 

“Maybe we could stop blaming ourselves and moping in our corner and, I don’t know, move forward? I mean, can we be friends again?” Kara asked and watched Lena with a shy but hopeful smile.

 

“I would love that,” Lena said.

 

“And maybe next time you could come to me earlier, rather than trying to save the world alone,” Kara tried to joke.

 

“Are you kidding? I hope there won’t be a next time,” Lena straightened and looked Kara dead in the eyes.

 

“Rao, I wish,” Kara smiled but didn’t believe that her life would be any easier in the future. Lena rested her head back on Kara’s shoulder. “I just can’t lose you too, I can’t live without you,” Kara added in a whisper that wasn’t meant to be heard.

 

“Neither can I,” Lena replied as quietly.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading.


End file.
